Julee, a proud single parent

Julee Verma- Working with State Bank of India

"I have seen life, people, and relations from very close. Everyone seems to be your good wisher until you land into any trouble. At times you do not get help or support from your blood relations whom you all the time thought to be your dear ones. Then you meet people who fulfill all the duties that were meant to be fulfilled by your blood relations or family.

I was in class 6th when my father got BRAIN HEMORRHAGE. He was working in Vidhan Sabha in Patna. We took him to Delhi for his treatment. In all this, my studies got disturbed. My father became senseless and was not able to recognize anyone except me and my brother. He took VRS(Voluntary Retirement Scheme). Our financial condition was shaken badly. We only had the father's pension to run the house. After 2 years my father died. Everything got disturbed. My father gave all of us a very luxurious life, all our demands and needs were fulfilled. We got everything we asked for.

Time waits for none and when I grew up my mother started searching life partner for me. They were just trying to marry me with anyone, and the grooms they were looking for, were not good. some did not have a good job, some had bad habits. They just wanted to get over with their liability. But my sister supported me and said that I would only get married to a boy having a government job and he should not have any bad habits as well. My family met my husband and they selected him for me. We got married in 1998. I was 28-year-old when I got married but was not mature. Now I can say I am mature enough but at that time I wasn't. I was very happy when I got my father-in-law as now after so many years I can again use the word, PAPA. I have always seen my parents treating their daughter-in-law as their own daughter. Keeping the same image of the in-laws in my mind, I stepped into my in-laws' house. But things here were very different. My husband was working with State Bank of India and was posted in Aligarh and as the culture of Bihar goes, I was not allowed to live with my husband. When I shifted with my husband my life started taking happy turns. Everything seemed so perfect and good and it seemed like life could get no better than this. In 1999, our elder son came to our lives and I realized life could get even better. With the arrival of our younger son in 2000, my family became complete. We were a small and happy family. Everything was going on smoothly. Finally, I was getting a life I have always dreamt of. My husband was my complete support system throughout. He had all the qualities that every girl wants in her husband. He was a real diamond in every aspect. But as the saying goes bad things happen to a good person. In 2004, my HUSBAND DIED in a road accident. I remember everything very clearly even now. It was Wednesday, and he along with one of his colleagues was going to see another colleague's child who was ill. They met with a road accident and both of them died on the spot. My life was completely shattered. Before my small happy family could get started properly, it came to a halt. I did not have any idea what to do. My husband's colleague and his staff came to the front and supported me. They accommodated all the furniture and every other thing about my house in their houses, so that no one could take that. My in-laws wanted compensation jobs for my brother-in-law but my husband's friends and colleague did not let that happen and I got the job. Then my in-laws wanted I should get posted in Bihar only but my husband's colleague knew that it won't do any good to me or my children and with their help, I got posted in Uttar Pradesh.

Jaya Nand Sinha, one of my husband's friend and a colleague helped me so much like a brother. My real brother was not there to support me but he supported me like my own. He did everything that my brother should have done. An accidental claim which I got was around 14 lakh and my children were very small. I was not in a state to say anything to anyone. So, he fixed all the money in a way that no one, even I could not take out that money until my children turn 18. My husband's friend helped me to such an extent that I won't be able to thank them enough ever in my life. They all contributed a little money and opened my bank account so that I do not need to ask for any help from anyone. When I joined the bank, my life changed again all over, and this time for a good. After joining the bank, two Angles came into my life. One of them was Atul Agarwal Sir, the Branch Head and Anjali Ma'am, an accountant during the time I joined the branch. They both helped me and supported me mentally and morally. They both taught me things from the banking sector, from how to talk to others to every small thing required to live. They made me confident. Anjali Ma'am upgraded me to what I am. She upgraded me, she upgraded my way of living, she upgraded my wardrobe. People from outside the family were helping me in every possible way they could but from my family, no one stood, except my sister.

All these times my constant fear was how would I raise my children. They were at very a tender age at that time and my only aim was to give them a good education and life. Many times my children used to sleep empty stomach. When I would return they would have already slept. I would always remain concerned about how would I give them good teachings, what if they get spoiled while growing up. But they too along with me have seen life from so close that all the good teachings, value for money, respect for other people came to them naturally. I can now very proudly say both of my sons are the two pillars of my family. They support me in every decision of my life. They can go against the whole world just to support me. The only thing which I taught was to always treat girls equal to them, respect them, and not to hurt any girl. The support which I got from my children was unbelievable for me. They always tell me we want what we need and not what we like. Getting this type of SUPPORT FROM MY KIDS was a great achievement for me. Now the only thing that matters to me is their support, their happiness, and their education. By God's grace, my sons always did well in their academics. My elder son Rishab is now pursuing his graduation from Delhi University and my younger son Anubhav is doing his graduation from Doon Business School. Now when I look at my kids I don't understand how did they become so mature at such a delicate age. They make me extremely proud of where ever they go.

I have almost seen all the phases of life till now and the most important thing I understood while passing all these phases is that 'HAPPINESS IS NOT PERMANENT. IT WILL GO. SO IS THE SADNESS AND THIS CYCLE WILL KEEP ON GOING JUST TO MAKE US STRONG'. Through my experience, I could say one thing for sure life will always try to demotivate you but you have to keep yourself motivated. What I am today is just because of the support I got from my sons, my sister, Jaya Nand Sinha(who always stood by me like a big brother), Atul Sir, Anjali Ma'am, and my husband's friends and through this medium, I would like to thank them from my heart for always supporting me like a family. One should never get disheartened from things happening in life as God must have decided something good for us and maybe he(God) is just testing us if we are worthy of that or not. Life and even family at times will try to let you down but if you start believing, it is to make you a successful person. You will become one."